he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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