sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
