I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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