I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
either way he was missing a nipple.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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