what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize