i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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