we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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