You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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