He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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