it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
