with your own penis?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
