I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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