I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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