what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
