Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
