No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize