I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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