Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
