honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
