i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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