she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
