I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
