Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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