Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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