real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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