Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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