just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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