i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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