Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.