I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?