i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.