im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So squirting runs in the family.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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