My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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