I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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