According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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