I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
