He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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