ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
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surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
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He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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