No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
