I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
