im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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