so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
