He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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