i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
