i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize