Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
