What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
