I wish you could order shots online.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
