You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
