hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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