Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
