Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
