Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
