I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
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