he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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