would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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