So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
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i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
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I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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