I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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