When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
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Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
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He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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