Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that

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(613): His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that http://tfl.nu/uqyw

Replies (23) Good night (1185) Bad night (3786)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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(603): Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame?? http://tfl.nu/gyhi

Replies (15) Good night (4632) Bad night (501)
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(303): View more from Colorado

once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.

(303): View more from Colorado

oh and he was serious.

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(303): once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir. (303): oh and he was serious. http://tfl.nu/t6g9

Replies (26) Good night (776) Bad night (4217)
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(765): View more from Indiana

i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring

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(765): i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring http://tfl.nu/hl5v

Replies (13) Good night (1002) Bad night (5935)
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(404): View more from Georgia

you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship

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(404): you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship http://tfl.nu/msif

Replies (7) Good night (3919) Bad night (1004)
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(319): View more from Iowa

This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.

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(319): This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner. http://tfl.nu/r7j7

Replies (7) Good night (810) Bad night (2928)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario

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(314): I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario http://tfl.nu/9b6y

Replies (3) Good night (2052) Bad night (1304)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

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(608): On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me.. http://tfl.nu/zeud

Replies (1) Good night (1882) Bad night (603)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???

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(231): I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore??? http://tfl.nu/87ut

Replies (16) Good night (839) Bad night (1458)
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(206): View more from Washington

The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.

(909): View more from California

Whaaaaaat? No way.

(206): View more from Washington

Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.

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(206): The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag. (909): Whaaaaaat? No way. (206): Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier. http://tfl.nu/t9qj

Replies (16) Good night (560) Bad night (1922)
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(212): View more from New York

You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.

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(212): You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band. http://tfl.nu/ldj0

Replies (10) Good night (2673) Bad night (570)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.

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(318): I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna. http://tfl.nu/hik5

Replies (4) Good night (1308) Bad night (349)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.

(347): View more from New York

Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.

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(989): I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee. (347): Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly. http://tfl.nu/n2ti

Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (231)
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(585): View more from New York

I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?

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(585): I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/qqo1

Replies (8) Good night (433) Bad night (276)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it

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(724): Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it http://tfl.nu/jbin

Replies (3) Good night (484) Bad night (220)

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