i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Of course I have a pirate flag
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski