2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.