I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
